JOHN ROMANIELLLO + AMANDA BUCCI

How To Say The Hard Things

Communication Strategies for Connection,
Clarity, and Conflict Resolution
(2 Day In-Person Workshop)

November 10th + 11th in Austin, TX

TAKE ME TO THE PAYMENT PLANS

JOHN ROMANIELLO
+ AMANDA BUCCI

How To Say The Hard Things

ENROLL NOW

Communication Strategies for Connection, Clarity, and Conflict Resolution

SELF-STUDY COURSE

Nearly everything you want—everything we all want—is on the other side of a hard conversation.

A sale. A promotion at work. Respect from your boss. Less friction with your relatives. An incredible relationship with your partner.

Each of these is attainable. We can move closer to them with every interaction, every word.

Yet so many of us struggle to say what we mean when it really matters.

Because we’re never taught how. At home, we learn how to walk and talk. At school, we learn to read and write. But at no point in our lives as children or adults does anyone sit us down and teach us how to use those basic skills to relate to other humans.

Most of what we do is instinct or learned habit. Nature or nurture. But nothing with intention. So we react instead of respond, avoid instead of advance, and rarely hear when we listen to others.

And this affects every part of our experience on this planet, both professionally and personally.

Now, that doesn’t mean we’re doomed to a life of shitty communication.

We can decide, on our own, to actively dedicate time to learning the skills to communicate effectively.

The kind of skills that will allow you to connect deeply, speak confidently, and share honestly--even in the most challenging situation.

In the next few minutes, you’ll see how learning a few key strategies can be completely life-changing

We’ll share the very same protocols that…

helped a shy, reserved analyst become world-class at making friends with strangers
gave a struggling couple the tools to get to the core of their issues (and save their marriage!)
allowed a sales-averse coach to overcome her fear and double her closing percentage
provided a framework for an estranged mother and daughter to rebuild their relationship
have given hundreds of online creators the skills to foster authentic connection with their audience.

Because whether it’s in business, in relationships, or even in your own emotional development, getting what you want only comes from being able to speak up for what you want.

You need to be able to clearly articulate your thoughts and feelings, and explain challenging concepts in simple language.

And you need to be able to do this while actively listening to the other person, helping them feel heard and understood all while regulating your emotions AND staying present enough to come up with solutions.

But the truth is, we’re not taught this. In fact––we’re taught everything but this.

We’re taught to be people pleasers. To be polite, to be conscientious, to walk on eggshells so as not to bother people, but never how to actually express the things that bother us so that others can navigate them.

So our entire adolescence is a bunch of people trying to avoid hurting each other, eventually knocking into one another and then not knowing how to deal with it.

At best, we get into a serious argument and are told to apologize, shake hands, and––you know––maybe try not to do it again.

The closest we get to an actual curriculum is witnessing the very shitty communication habits we see around us and copying what they do.

For some it’s through an authoritarian teacher who scolds us at school, not allowing us the opportunity to express ourselves.

For others it may be the way an anxious parent and an avoidant parent chase each other around the house, participating in an ongoing argument that seemingly lasts the entirety of their childhood without a single example of resolution.

And for the majority of us, it’s also through the media we consume.

These are the tools that apply to almost every area of your life, for the rest of your life.

Hard Conversations Made Us Happier (and More Successful) Than We Ever Dreamed Possible

Hey—we're Amanda and John.

Husband and wife. Business partners. Communication connoisseurs.

Thanks to a deep appreciation for the fine art of saying difficult shit, we’ve managed to jerry-rig a few noteworthy attainments.

We’ve launched and grown multiple 6- and 7-figure businesses in various niches; accumulated half a million wonderful humans who follow us for communication tips; found ourselves on the New York Times bestsellers list.

Just two lovebird authors, coaches, and consultants with a love for language.

Self-adulation aside, we say this to show you just how powerful learning a few simple communication strategies can be.

Because, had we not learned how to speak up for what we want (even when our own bodies, minds, and nervous systems were sending everything they possibly could to make us do the exact opposite) we couldn’t have achieved any of it.

And give us another 5 minutes, and we’ll show you how focusing on this one skill can help you get whatever it is you want, whether that’s:

Connecting on a deeper, more intimate level with your partner(s) to create even more happiness, fulfillment, and meaning in your relationship
Having a scary conversation with your boss about the value you’re adding to the company and why you deserve a raise
Forming stronger social bonds with your clients to help them get better results, leave raving reviews, and refer more customers
Becoming closer with your family by respectfully affirming your boundaries––without getting into damaging conflicts
Successfully negotiating deals so it’s a true win/win for all parties, be they real estate deals, contract negotiations, or pricing objections
Having honest appraisals with your staff to get more out of them without damaging their self-esteem or making them resent you.

**All that becomes possible when you become crystal clear about what you want and learn to express it in the most effective and least intimidating way…**

…and are able to regulate the scary emotions that rear their ugly heads when you do.

It also helps create opportunities in your career, like it did for John when he was asked to consult on a political campaign

…or for Amanda when she pivoted away from an already reliably successful fitness brand to find her true passion.

More than anything, it allows you to navigate the trickiest conversations in ANY setting, with ANY person—even if they don’t have the same skills.

These practices have allowed us to build and thrive in our polyamorous marriage—which (with more people and more relationships to manage) certainly requires a fuck ton of candid communication.

And remember, we weren't taught these skills, either.

Like you, we each learned specific types of communication that worked in highly specific contexts, AND we unconsciously absorbed patterns in our respective upbringings.

In school, John studied writing. He could spin out moving prose and compelling copy. He also studied rhetoric and debate and could frame language to win an argument.

John also grew up in a household with a lot of conflict and violence. His internal patterning became avoidant—until backed into a corner, and then he could argue with cold and calculated logic.

All of these things made his communication skills perfectly suited for marketing and content writing…but he’d never learned how to be honest about his feelings or allow himself to be vulnerable. To connect.

Amanda’s academic career was more focused on science (nursing, to be exact) than self-expression. It was her experience as a content creator and coach that helped her sharpen her ability to share her thoughts.

She was also raised in a conflict-barren household––which led to her subconsciously believing a lack of conflict was what represented happiness. A mindset perfect for living in a bubble of safety and boredom; disastrous for when she entered real relationships where conflict was necessary to move forward.

Not only did she avoid conflict, she simply didn’t know how to navigate one at all.

So we'd both had our specific experiences.

And we’d both started working through some of it to develop skills a few years before we got together (thank goodness!).

Prior to meeting, we’d both realized that if we wanted to amount to anything in our lives, we not only had to learn an entirely new way of interacting with others…

…and so had to unlearn everything our spongey little neurons had soaked up through childhood.

If we wanted to get what we wanted out of life, we’d need to be able to speak up for what we wanted without shying away or harming ourselves and/or the other person.

Eventually, fate (and mutual friends) brought us together.

We quickly realized that in addition to being romantically compatible, we also had a shared passion for learning and growing as people—especially with regard to communication.

And let us tell you, friends, great communication is like rocket fuel for romance. And for love.

(It's also rocket fuel for success. For friendship. Even for making more money, if you're into that kinda thing.)

Once we entered our relationships, we kept working on ourselves. But now we were doing it together.

We studied everything from storytelling, influence, and sales psychology...

…to nonviolent communication, ego work, and consensual power exchange.

We even went to therapy to uncover our unconscious patterns and the different parts of ourselves––what Jung calls our Shadow Archetypes.

Brick by brick, layer by layer, we began to overwrite our automatic habits and install more effective ways to communicate.

**This Quickly Impacted Every Aspect Of Our Lives**

We fostered deeper trust with our team members by instituting practices for active listening, fostering a feedback-friendly environment in our respective businesses. These allowed everyone to voice their needs and to thrive in their roles, rather than becoming overly reactive when things didn’t go according to plan.

We used these tools with our families, helping everyone to break decades-long patterns and grow closer than ever before. Suddenly, going home for the holidays was exciting instead of frustrating.

It had such a huge impact in all areas of our life that we decided to teach these exact same strategies.

And it all starts with understanding this:

Meet Your Teachers

John Romaniello

New York Times Best Selling Author and Type-Writer Enthusiast

Amanda Bucci

Transformational Life Coach and Communication Wizard

You Have To Be Willing To Say The Hard Things

Whatever you haven’t said yet isn’t easy, because there’s an inherent vulnerability involved in sharing it.

And your nervous system (whose job it is to indicate when something scary is about to happen) will set off all the internal alarm bells to let you know that fear is present in your body.

Having a candid conversation about your needs, wants, and boundaries opens up a can of worms—both emotionally, and with the potential consequences of that conversation.

Because when you do, you run the risk that things will never be the same again.

And the unknown is a vulnerable space.

Vulnerable to how they might react.
Vulnerable to the possibility of being rejected.
Vulnerable to the idea of being abandoned, fired, disliked, or shamed.

And this can often truly, horrendously, gut-wrenchingly awful.

When our stress and protective responses turn on, it can feel like:

Brain fog, struggling to form the right words that seem so clear in your mind
A racing heartbeat, so loud that it becomes difficult to focus
Rising anger or frustration, making it difficult to stay calm
Gut-twisting, signaling danger, and some deeply rooted fears

These sensations and emotions coming up can create make it difficult to fully trust ourselves to show up as our best self in those conversations…

Leading us to believe that avoidance (or complacency) is the better, safer option to protect our relationships, career, or friendships.

You might bargain with yourself and ask:

“Am I just complaining?”

But before you do that, you must know why avoiding hard conversations will (eventually):

Prevent you from connecting with your partner
Teach people it’s okay to treat you in ways that actually aren’t
Create a culture of complacency in your team
Have your friendships at an arm's length, or ending altogether

Because that energy attached to your truth—the way you feel, what you need, what you desire, and what boundaries you have–never goes away.

Instead–it gets internalized, and your subconscious starts to believe you cannot trust yourself in difficult situations.

All of which begins to chip away at your own self-worth and self-trust.

And the pathway back to self-trust is to begin building a sense of safety in your nervous system to have the conversations you need to have to feel like you’re showing up for yourself.

One fantastic way to do that is to prepare to have those conversations.

To have tools to fall back on when you get stuck on what to say, or how to say it.

So let's talk about...

Being Able To Have Difficult Conversations Is A Life-Changing Power—In All Facets Of Life

Because just as you’re going to face difficult situations in romantic relationships, it’s exactly the same for all aspects of our life. Whether you want to:

Speak to your boss about getting a raise (and feel confident doing it!)
Address a family member's behavior (with less awkwardness and fewer arguments)
Share your honest opinion with friends instead of just agreeing (without it putting a wedge between you)

You will need to open yourself up to having difficult conversations.

BUT (and here’s the best part) all it takes is one conversation to change your life.

That’s not to say that after one conversation you’ll find yourself with a fairytale relationship or a 7-figure business. Building anything worth having takes a bit of time.

What we mean is this: that ONE difficult conversation is the first and most important step on the path to everything getting better. It’s also the hardest; they get easier and easier as you go.

After facing just one difficult conversation, you’ll start to feel completely different about yourself. After 10, you’re leveled up and they’re no longer as scary.

In a few months, you’re having them all the time, with practiced ease.

And…

You’ll begin sticking up for what you truly want.
You won’t shy away from engaging with people who can be challenging.
You’ll stop feeling the urge to put others’ needs before your own, just to avoid uncomfortable emotions.

And you won’t feel like you need to throw up every time you face a conflict.

Bit by bit, you’ll start carrying yourself completely differently. All aspects of your life begin to change.

Your friends will be more respectful of your boundaries.

You’ll be able to handle objections on sales calls.

You and your partner will feel like you’re in your honeymoon period all over again.

All it takes is a single conversation.

However, there’s something crucial you need to know before you go and start screaming your boundaries to everyone.

Whether it’s about your partner’s behavior, negotiating at work, or setting a boundary with your friend…

…difficult conversations must be handled skillfully.

If not, you risk damaging the very relationship to improve!

This is why we’ve made it our mission to help people do the very same through the life-changing power of Compassionate Candor.

For the past few years, we've been doing this through our transformational workshops.

Every 6 months, we host in-person workshops here in Austin, during which we help small a group of people completely rewrite their communication patterns they’ve learned.

And now, we're making it available to everyone.

Here's why...

We know our workshops are life-changing.

We also know that the post-covid everything-happens-on-zoom era, anything in-person at happening at a certain place at a certain time is a big ask.

Everytime we host the workshop, we get applicants from places like Germany, Australia, Brazil, and even New Jersey.

Not everyone can jump on a plane and come to Austin for a weekend.

Many people don't have the freedom to take off of work and travel.
Lots of folks have families and don't have someone watch the kids.
Others may not be able to take time away form their business.
And some people just straight up don't wanna come to Texas.

So we had two options.

We could pull up stakes and take this show on the road, traveling the world and leading workshops in cities all over the world.

Or, we could just turn the workshop into a course and put the whole thing online.

The first one sounded fun, but the second was far more practical, so we went with that.

This is why we’re over the moon to introduce to you, for the first time ever…

How To Say The Hard Things

(2 Day In Person Workshop)

How to Say The Hard Things is a comprehensive workshop that will give you the exact skills, strength, and confidence you need to face any difficult conversation in your life—no matter how uncomfortable.

The workshop contains everything we’ve learned about effective communication over the past 15 years.

From therapy to study, inner work to coaching...

…not to mention hundreds of hours of conversations…

…How To Say The Hard Things simplifies and delivers it to you in the perfect concoction of information and practical exercises.

With three units spread across two days (with plenty of time for live coaching, feedback on your relationships and present-moment challenges, and space for breaks) you get new training and new lessons, each breaking down another piece of the communication puzzle.

Each training covers a specific aspect of communication, from connecting with your deepest desires to healthily resolving even the most challenging of conflicts…

…and is packed with follow-along exercises, accompanying workbooks, and even in-the-moment coaching.

Here's how it worked for one of our clients...

"I was quite the people pleaser before HTSTHT. Unfortunately, this would get me into all sorts of trouble.

I'd allow tiny irritations to build and build until they finally spilled out into sudden outbursts—leaving many, even myself, very confused.

My deep reluctance to assert boundaries often led to imbalanced relationships which would inevitably crash and burn largely because of my unspoken resentments. I’d have trouble speaking up at work and with friends and family members.

If I did engage in conflict, I’d show up from a place of “fight or flight” rather than a place of compassion and a spirit of collaboration.

I joined HTSTHT with hopes that I’d be able to more successfully work through conflict in my romantic relationship.

Two surprising things happened:

With self-awareness, I finally gave myself permission to admit that my then-partner and I were ultimately incompatible.
My newly minted communication skills greatly improved my professional life—I was able to enhance connections with my clients by working through conflict with warm transparency rather than staying silently frustrated.

I imagine my closing rate with potential clients has also benefitted indirectly from my new ability to be more confidently consultative and open in sales conversations.

In the months since HTSTHT, I was able to build a much healthier relationship with a better-suited partner—we work through conflicts with deep care and “compassionate candor.”

I enjoy very warm, soul-filling relationships with all of my clients and have been able to successfully work through small conflicts that would’ve ended coach-client relationships in the past.

Essentially, to put things in the current vernacular, I’m living my BEST life. Yaaaas queen/king.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank John and Amanda for giving me the skills needed to live the life I always wanted— I’m thriving in every arena and I credit much of this to my ability to communicate and connect from a place of self-responsibility and standing fearlessly in my truth.

I could not recommend this more and believe it to be necessary for anyone who wants to live in authenticity, empowerment, and alignment."

—Emily A.

TAKE ME TO THE PAMENT PLANS

It only takes one person to improve a relationship.

Whether someone has honed their communication skills or not, you can still make drastic improvements to the quality of your relationships by using your own skills that help minimize additional conflict and increase potential connection.

Cameron B. // USA

How To Say The Hard Things Workshop Attendee